I don't understand anything anymore.

[Bobby Kbro]

To quote my favorite author Lewis Grizzard: “I haven’t understood anything since 1962”. I pretty sure that is a true statement. Seems the older I get, the less I understand.

When did it become fashionable to poke metal all over your face?

I get a lot of neighbors that come over on the weekends looking for some car help. This weekend was no different. One of the neighborhood kids came over looking to talk about his car, or more accurately, about his car problem. I don’t know when it happened, but apparently I have been elected ‘Mr. Goodwrench’ of the local area. Hell, I didn’t even know there was an election. But I won. And as such, I am thought of as a public servant. So, as it turns out, weekends only mean that there are two working days till Monday. PowerTV garage or my garage, it’s still work.

So the young man starts to ask about his specific car problem, but I can’t hear him. I think it’s the metal in his face that is causing a short circuit in the audio waves leaving his mouth. Normally if I couldn’t understand someone, I would correctly assume that their undershorts were too tight. After all, it’s a well-known fact that undershorts that are too tight cause a great deal of problems. That was not the case with my young friend however.

How did I know that? I could see his underwear. He had apparently had lost his belt on the way over to my house and his jeans had slipped down his hips where about 10 inches of boxers were showing. It’s no wonder that he couldn’t fix his own car. If he had tried to slide under the car his pants would have come completely off.

The poor kid had no sense of direction either. The bill of his hat was pointed in the wrong direction. Luckily it was an overcast day and the sun didn’t burn a blind spot in his retina.

Being an older guy, I can ask things and people don’t get too offended with my curiosity. So I asked. “What’s up with the metal stuck in your grape and the boxers hanging out of your britches?”

When people want something from you, they will spend a great deal of time answering your questions.

As it turns out, I have really poor fashion sense. Seems that sticking metal in your ears, tongue, eyebrows and lips are cool. Wearing your underclothes over your outer clothes is UBER-Cool (is that really a word?), and the latest hair styling is done with a weed wacker and not at Super Cuts.

I’ve got a lot of studying to do in order to catch up with the times. So much for my Sunday in the garage.

[kevinpowertv]

Because my underwear is visible all the time, I actually decided to pierce my underwear. Pretty cool idea eh? Now my Christmas Robots have studs in their ears and noses.

Awesome!

[Bobby Kbro]

I still don't get it???? Trust me I've tried but I just can't get my head wrapped around that one.

There's a couple of things that bother me about that.

1. You should be changing your boxers (at least every other day. Changing them inside out doesn't count)

2. What are you doing wearing Christmas Boxers in April? That's like girls that wear them days of the week panties, and they are wearing Tuesday on Friday. It's just creepy. Doesn't send a good signal.

By the way, putting studs in your robot's ears and noses does not make them more of a metal face.

Yeah. That's, uuuuhhmmm...."Uber-cool".

[DollaDollaBill]

Kbro, you need to relate the metal studs to the metal plate in your head. Now that is uber cool. I would suggest instead of piercing your under-roos, but you should pierce them to your body. Double uber cool. but lets not forget about the royalty, Prince Albert. I understand that is a whole new holy subject...

[Bobby Kbro]

Ok. That's going too far. Let's leave my war wounds out of this. You and those kids that try to stick refrigerator magnets on my head when I'm not looking are way out of line.

I'm not sure about the Prince Albert thing, but if it's like piercing your nose....and you have to blow your nose, snot bubbles out of the stud's hole. That just can't be cool. No one could consider it cool.

I still don't get it.